White coat. Heels.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
