well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
