Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i love accidental penises.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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