I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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