sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
