so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Found the puke drawer
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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