Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize