After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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