Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I want a musical about memes.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
