Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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