some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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