I could make wine with my vomit
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
