My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
