I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
