Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
