Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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