I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize