So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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