I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
