Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
