i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
