I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
