just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
