Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize