No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
