You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
