i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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