Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize