some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well I just put wine in my tea
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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