ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I love you.
Bad choice
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