saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Such a big mess for such a small penis
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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