i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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