I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
