the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
