Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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