i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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