Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
