at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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