Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
