No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
