well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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