I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize