You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
