lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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