if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
