Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
