didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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