Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
