yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
