sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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