Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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