Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize