Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
