I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
