i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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