is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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