My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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