It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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