My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
