How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
