If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize