New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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