I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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