Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
