i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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