I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
