hotel room ftw
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
