Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
