well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
