Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
