She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
