Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
