At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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