We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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