so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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