I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
