i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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