you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
