The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
