Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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