ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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