No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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