party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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