I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
