Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
